Cerrie's mama (that would be me) is a complete OCD mess (a hot mess thank you very much). Now I am not talking REAL OCD, but close enough to shake a stick at.....while I don't repeatedly turn on and off light switches or have to wash my hands an even number of times, I do walk in circles endlessly straightening up, vacuum multiple times daily, and so on and so on. I will literally walk behind Cerrie while she plays cleaning up after her...sick right?? I just can't stand mess and things out of their place. I know the reasons I do this and I am okay with them. It is my way of dealing, I can't control the world, but I can control the dirt on my carpet! I have tried so very hard not to put issues on others (i.e. my husband and daughter)......I just handle my own issues and do my own crazy little things, or so I thought......boy was I WRONG!
Cerrie likes....no LOVES to throw her food on the floor while she eats. We probably should have nipped it in the bud when she first started, but it built a wonderful loving relationship between her and Sammi and Dani (our spoiled rotten Cocker Spaniels). She tries to engage the puppies and it worked till we kicked them to the garage so she would actually eat SOME of her food. So Cerrie throws her food on the floor and her OCD mama immediately cleans it up, washes the floor and waits for the next piece to hit and rinse and repeat. No harm, no foul......WRONG AGAIN. A week ago I was sitting at the kitchen table reading a magazine and Cerrie was playing in the family room. She crawled into the kitchen, removed one of her washcloths from under her highchair, sat back down on the floor and began to "wash" the floor next to her high chair. She has seen this done 10-12 times a day for months now....I laughed thinking it was a one time thing, WRONG AGAIN. Cerrie's new pastime is "washing" the kitchen floor. She has even taken to cleaning the highchair as well. I wish I could say it stopped there, but a week on she is now cleaning up her toys. I bemoan my poor little girls fate.....she is growing up UNDER MY INFLUENCE. My husband laughs and tells me that everything will be fine, Cerrie is just learning to clean up after herself a little earlier than most children.....I want to believe him. I really do!!
I was really close to having a meltdown.....how I could have been so blind. I was ruining my baby.....I was teaching her my unhealthy habits. I am her mama, I am supposed to be molding and shaping her into a happy, well balanced individual....not turning her into a clone of her mother....than sanity returned and I realized Cerrie is ok, probably better than ok. She is well behaved in nice restaurants (minus the throwing food on the floor), she doesn't throw tantrums (running to knock on wood) and she loves just to smile and wave at everyone she meets. So I decided to take a deep breath and than I busted out laughing.....if you could see a before and after picture of my house…. Cerrie has influenced me FAR MORE than I her. Even as I type this there are cracker crumbs staring up at me from my once spotless carpet. Beautiful plants have been obliterated and in their place have come Mickey Mouse stuffed animals, baby books, Winnie the Pooh ride on train....my once picture perfect family room now resembles a daycare center. My once spotless white cabinets now covered in fingerprints, and I somehow manage to sleep at night. There isn't a room in the house that hasn't been completely Cerrie-ified...... and we have never been happier. And just maybe a little bit better well adjusted?? If not better well adjusted, at the very least a little bit more relaxed. So I comfort myself that Cerrie will continue to change me for the better, so I’ll be a better mama for her.
